Pepe Nero, Bond Street, Bristol

 Visited on the 13^th November, for pre-hippodrome nourishment

One of the joys of going to a ‘proper city’ is that you can be fairly confident that there will be one or more vegan restaurants.  In Bristol, home of the south-west’s VegFest festival, this is certainly true.  It’s a mission to find a place that has a vegan option, it takes pre-planning to find a place that serves only vegan food and so has a wide range.  Pepe Nero somehow manages to be a bit of both.  The number of vegan options is equal to or greater than the number of meat counterparts, and the vegan selection is varied and exciting! 

Pepe Nero is the place you see in your belly-rumbling dreams.  There’s a lot of vegan food about these days, but much of it is, dare I say it, healthy.  We human beings naturally crave a bit of junk food now and then, and Pepe Nero has this covered (though I hasten to add their food is far from the greasy processed muck that is usually what we call ‘fast food’).  Situated by Bristol’s ‘Bear Pit’ for the last 2 years, Pepe Nero offers a range of Italian food, with an extensive range of vegan pizza.  It will take you at least one hour to decide; I suggest you check their website before you go, be amazed in advance, and plan your choice ahead!

Salvatore, the founder/manager, came to speak to us after hearing about this blog.  He is a traditional Italian cook, and uses recipes from his home town (not too much yeast and a long rise time) which makes the dough lighter and less heavy on the stomach.  All of his staff are from the same area of Italy, “the heel of the boot”, which gives it a really nice family vibe.

The decision to provide vegan alternatives was in response to market research and demand, and he said that while the ingredients are more expensive for him, this isn’t reflected in the sale price and he gets a lot of vegan customers.  They offer a choice of base (plain or wholemeal), and they use organic ingredients.    

So let’s cut to the chase; could it be that the food was as fantastic as it sounded?  There is a very simple answer, and it isn’t ‘No’.  Enjoy that double negative and then book yourself a table.  I started with a huge bowl of unpitted olives, .  They were big, salted, spiced with chilli, and lovely as expected.  The only thing stopping me demolishing the entire bowl was the fear of not having space for my pizza de resistance!  My partner enjoyed a bruschetta which I’m told was also very nice.

Finally, it was time for pizza!  Pepe Nero makes vegan pizza an art form with their combination of different ‘cheeses’, all perfectly melted and indistinguishable from their dairy counterparts, both in looks and taste; something I have seldom achieved at home!  I chose a vegan ‘Salmone’ pizza, and the other half chose a vegan spicy chorizo topping for his.

Vegan Salmone pizza

Vegan Diavola

Not having ever eaten real salmon, I don’t know whether it was realistic, but that is neither relevant or necessary for us to know (though the other half confirmed there was little difference).  The pizza was perfectly cooked, very tasty, and I ate all of it (almost) without feeling like I needed to be either rolled home or spend the winter months holed up in a gym.  My dining buddy (currently transitioning from carnivore to herbivore) summed it up in some beautiful words, whilst he absorbed the aroma and appearance: “Nothing was hurt to make this?”.  

As I’m sure you have gathered, Pepe Nero is a fantastic place to eat, and one of a kind in this country.  I wholeheartedly hope that it continues to prosper, and that we see franchises popping up all over Britain.  If not, this is possibly a restaurant worth upping sticks and moving to Bristol for.  Incredible!

On the Waterfront, Quayside

Visited on the 27th August, for a treat.

Before I begin, I have a confession to make. Ten years ago, myself and friends did a runner from On The Waterfront (OTW). It took them 2 hours to serve us a pizza, and we drank our own wine (bought in the off-license) after stealing glasses from the bar because the staff were too busy to serve us on my 21st birthday.  We didn't wait around for the bill.

Thankfully things have changed. Though pizza is still the dominant dish, it sits alongside various other bloody and non-bloody options. Now I do love a slice of non-cheese pizza, but now prefer to make my own vegan cheesy versions at home, so didn't feel the need to pay for something I could teach them a thing or two about. Apologies for ego, neck has been appropriately wound in.

Interestingly, OTW now offer a vegan salad; smoked tofu, bean sprouts, pak choi, radish and fennel. Despite fennel being my ultimate food enemy, I gave it a try. Smoked tofu trumps fennel.

The salad arrived quickly, in a very attractive bowl. I could write a paragraph or two about the loveliness of the bowl, but I'll resist on this occasion.  The salad itself sadly paled in comparison.  Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the use of tofu, but frying it up a little would have been a massive improvement. Tofu is not equal to cheese (despite what some people seem to think), and should not be used as such! I also appreciate a bean sprout as an avant-garde salad ingredient, but have you ever tried eating those guys raw, with a fork? It just doesn't work for me.

You will already know that I don't appreciate fennel in any shape or form. I'm willing to let that go on this occasion, but dressing a salad in Thai sweet chilli sauce and serving raw tofu is not cooking. It was sticky, sweet, and awkward to eat.

Now I've come across like a complete snob, I confess that it wasn't that bad. It was a perfectly edible vegan option that could have been done better given a little thought. Well done to OTW for thinking of it and making my menu choice much simpler than normal. They're on the right track; all they need now is some vegan cheese on their pizzas and a whole new market will be theirs.

Tea on the Green, Cathedral Green

Visited on Saturday 7th September 2013 for a lovely lunchette

I started this blog full of enthusiasm to tell my dietary comrades about the best places to eat in and around Exeter if you don't happen to like a rotting carcass alongside your food. Now, six months later, I have finally found somewhere that won't make me sound like a miserable, moaning old herbivore! The fact is, most eateries don't know how to cook a good veggie meal and usually display any number of culinary ignorances; veggies only eat salad, tofu is tasteless and impossible to cook, any veggie meal MUST contain goats' cheese, veggies must have their plate piled high with carbs or they'll die. The chefs at Tea on the Green however, seem to actually know their stuff and prepare tasty, nutritious and original food for vegans, without making a meal of it. Well, strictly speaking they do make a meal of it, and that's what makes the experience so very pleasant.

I'd been to Tea on the Green some time ago, so when it was suggested, memories of their lovely Lebanese panini sprang immediately to mind. We entered tentatively; Saturdays tend to render the place rammed so we regarded the waitress's face sheepishly to gauge her reaction to our presence. Today our luck was good and we were assigned our very own table and chairs.

Alright, alright, so there was another reason I decided to ignore my dwindling bank account and go to the ever so slightly pricey TotG; their self-pouring teapots. At £2.60 for one cup's worth it's a little steep (ha ha), but worth every penny. They do provide a pot of hot water of you want to eek it out.  I opted for the Japanese rice tea over my smoky old favourite Lapsang Souchon, purely because the rice tea self-poured; all you have to do it place the pot on top of the cup! The rice tea was probably one of the most lovely things I've ever ingested and you can pick yourself up a bag from their shop for under a fiver. They also offer a range of English-grown teas, produced in Cornwall.

I found my Lebanese wrap on the menu and sat poised to place my order. However, whilst waiting for the other half to decide whether he wanted dead fish or dead cow, I discovered that I has been a bit over-zealous and overlooked the two (yes, two!) other vegan options! The butternut squash wrap was something I'd never seen before so my mind was re-made up.

The wrap was truly beautiful. The butternut squash wasn't warm enough to wilt the salad, nor did it have that fridgey un-freshness that can make root veg crumble like chalk. I'm infinitely grateful to the poor sod that had to peel the pomegranate and release those little balls of fruity flavour; the combination of the sharp fruit with sweet balsamic onions was unexpectedly good. The accompanying portion of chips was just the right size.

On the way out I asked about the teapots and teas, and received a way more in-depth answer than I had expected. I now know when their deliveries come in and how many cups of tea I can get out of one bag. I can't praise this place enough and will definitely return. Don't let the name fool you, tea is just the beginning of great things here...

Drake's, Catherine Street

visited on the 22nd February, for a very late breakfast

Drake's is a very cute little eatery, hidden away behind the high-street. I'd been aware of it's existence for years, and had it down as a hang-out for the silver market; elderly patrons sipping tea and munching on scones. On this day, it was simply a warm hideaway from the biting cold of outside.

I find the other cafes on Catherine Street quite uninspiring and clinical; referring to the more trendy bistro-style places that serve panninis and crepes. One one occasion we had been turned away from somewhere after trying to order food at the ungodly hour of 3pm. This time we decided to explore the mysterious alleyway where Drake's is hidden.

The warmth of the place was immediately noticeable, not only because it was -3 degrees outside, but because of the lovely staff who welcomed and seated us when we entered. There's not a lot of space, but they haven't overly-capitalised on what they do have, like The Plant Cafe. It is cosy and intimate, but not intrusive.

Unfortunately the menu isn't particularly vegetarian friendly, only offering an all-day veggie breakfast or vegetable lasagne amongst an array of traditional British meat and fish dishes. If you're vegan, you'll be at a bit of a loss since the sausages are from Quorn which still contains egg white. Unlike some other cafes, they will not substitute eggs for an extra scoop of beans; the menu clearly states that items can be removed but not replaced. This is a great shame, but as the sausages are non-vegan anyway, you'd only be left with hash-browns, beans, and tomatoes. These three alone do not a breakfast make!

On this occasion, I acted as a vegetarian and ordered the breakfast which was well-cooked and not too greasy. I am starting to find the smell and texture of eggs quite repulsive, and this blog has been indispensable in helping me tackle properly becoming vegan. On this occasion I failed, but we are getting closer.

For vegans, expect the fried tomatoes to be a disappointment; quite clearly from a can and very unappetizing. It was immediately clear why no extra beans could be granted- there was already a mammoth portion!

The staff were very friendly and helpful and the room was quietly buzzing with families and old ladies. The kitchen is semi-open and we could see our food being cooked from a distance, yet there was a distinct lack of greasy flesh-smell. The vegetarian sausages will be cooked on the same plate as the meat, but it was visibly cleaned in between every frying.

My co-diner sent his compliments for his well-cooked death and received a smiley wave in return. All together we parted with £15 for two breakfasts and two pots of tea; not extortionate for the meal and experience. I would probably pop back for an afternoon tea, but veggie breakfasts are definitely done better elsewhere. The quaint location, atmosphere, and attentive service make it well worth a visit, and the perfect escape from a fast-moving and chaotic high street.

Saf Restaurant and Wholefoods Market, Kensington High Street

visited on the 13th February, for a recharge

Being in London is always quite an intense experience, and fills me with excitement about all the veggie possibilities available to experience. When I found out I was going on a work trip, I frantically and excitedly started googling vegan restaurants. As with most capital cities, there are a lot of non-meat places to eat, so it was important that I made the right choice and planned my whole day around lunch. Yes, I am obsessed with food; especially things that I don't have to cook myself, or things that I can learn to cook myself,

After copious searching, I found the perfect venue. The office I was visiting had a veggie restaurant and organic supermarket within a mile of each other. After carrying out work duties, it seemed perfectly reaosnable to visit both. However, fate dealt me a bum card and my work hours extended.

I had to choose between awesome lunch and stocking up for home. The sensible option was to visit the Wholefoods Market near Kensington tube station, and stock up with portable food instead of relaxing over a gourmet. It was disappointing, but that soon wore off once we entered the Wholefoods Market.

A small haul from the WholeFoods Market

This shop is worth visiting London for alone, and with Megabus costing £10 return on Wednesdays I have been tempted to do so for my weekly shop. Imagine your wildest vegan consumer dream- food, toiletries, vitamins, takeaway, fresh vegetables and more. They do sell meat and dairy products, but there's such a wide range of veggie-friendly products that you'll hardly notice. The first time I went there, I filled my basket only with things I've never tried before- vegan pesto, fishless green curry paste, mad tofu incarnations, cardamom chocolate... on this trip there was still more to discover. Wholefoods is an American initiatve with a couple of massive London outlets.

The Kensington shop is three floors of pure wonder and you'll probably want to set aside considerable time to look around. Due to a work crisis, my phone was severely suffering and my unfortunate priority became finding a plug socket. We found ourselves on the top floor food court which I hadn't known about. It was then that my friends pointed out the raw vegan counter which we hovered around with intent.

The raw vegan cafe was Saf (simple authentic food). They were very accommodating to our electricity needs and sat us on a table with a connection. With that problem solved, the menu was a pleasant surprise with it's 100% organic vegan selection and it was an exciting to read such a diverse and original menu.

Saf is a Turkish brand, promoting a healthy, plant-based diet with only the best ingredients. Continuing my trend of ordering things I've never tried before, I opted for the seaweed salad; kelp, beetroot, radish and carrot. My travel-buddies opted for a veggie wrap, marinaded tofu rolls and dolmades (stuffed vine leaves). It was all washed down with a fresh Elderflower cordial to die for.


Now, I could write for paragraphs abut how wonderful this food was but I think the pictures speak for themselves. You honestly can't go wrong here. Whilst it was perhaps a little pricey for a visitor, it was pretty reasonable in London terms. Everything is cooked and prepared fresh by a specialist cook in an open kitchen.

We finished with the extravagant pancakes which were rich and chocolatey. Our waiter answered all of our questions about the ingredients without having to check with anyone. There was a choice of (all vegan) fillings, and again they were made to order. Our waiter told us that the chocolate sauce was made from nuts which really gave it that sumptuous, creamy texture.

Saf appeared in the right place at the right time for us. The food was original and fresh, the service was outstanding, and I would definitely go again next time to try the cheese. Let's hope that places like this go on to grow and expand outside of London, challenging the perception of veganism and encouraging more places to think outside the box.

The Imperial (Wetherspoon), New North Street

visited on the 21st February, for a lazy dinner

You are probably expecting this review to be a full-on slating of Wetherspoon's dining. We are all aware of their kitchen practices and reputedly low quality food. We have all given them the benefit of the doubt on some occasions because they're cheap and cheerful.

I visited on Thursday's 'Curry and a Pint' night; originally just for drinks, but as so often can happen, food eventually became a necessity. I could have chosen a worse night as there were more options than just the standard veggie burger or three-bean chilli.

On Thursdays there are two veggie curries available; the sweet potato and spinach curry, and the roasted vegetable makhani. Sides include veggie samosas, onion bhajis, and bombay potatoes- I'm assuming all sides are vegan, but the menu is quite inconclusive and only identifies vegetarian and gluten free dishes. The only option specifically described as vegan is the sweet potato curry, if you forgo the naan bread and take extra poppadoms. Be prepared- the bar staff find this a little difficult to compute. The barman was quite happy to delete the bread, but adding poppadoms was almost a step beyond comprehension. After a little explaining and pointing at the menu by me, and experimental jabbing at the till by the him, my order was placed.

Sweet potato and spinach curry, vegan style

Whilst I spent a full 5 minutes trying to gulp down the absolutely atrocious free wine (I suggest you order shots or beer as your freebie), our food appeared before us, fresh from the microwave. Somewhat surprisingly, I have to say that it looked wonderfully appetizing. I was slightly confused by the yellow basmati rice (why not pilau, and what did they colour it with?), but the curry looked colourful and lovely. The taste matched the appearance; it was delicious. If it wasn't for the ugly mango chutney sachet, I would have believed that it was all freshly cooked that day.

Another small giveaway was the instant poppadoms. I use them myself at home; they come as flat, bendy corn discs which you microwave for 20 seconds to make them crisp and bubbly. The kitchen operator hadn't nuked them quite long enough and the edges were uncooked, but this is easy to do and is just a picky comment. Given the price of £6.75 including cough syrup wine, it would be foolish to expect restaurant quality. As a side-note, if the wine wasn't free then there's no way anyone would pay money for it.

Compared to what I was expecting, this meal far surpassed that. It was full of coconutty flavour and attractively served. It was reassuring to know that it had been identified as vegan, and was also accredited with an unnamed award.

It seems almost pointless to write a review of a particular Wetherspoon's, since its chain nature means that food quality will vary across the country, and it is after all only somewhere to eat when necessary (and not as a planned occasion). Nevertheless, I was pleasantly surprised and always enjoy sitting in the beautiful Orangery.

Wetherspoon's is what it is. On this occasion it was a little more than that, and it was much appreciated.

The wonderful Orangery

The Plant Cafe, Cathedral Green

visited on the 9th February 2013, for a lunch-y treat

I've lived in Exeter on and off for about five years, and for some reason have never made it to one of our two dedicated vegetarian eateries- The Plant Cafe. For some reason, it seemed like a forbidden fruit; something I could never afford and wasn't 'cool' enough to experience. In other words, a vegetarian cafe for middle-class hippies. I had very high expectations for the place, which is why I chose to take the other half there for a special lunch; to sample some of the finest vegetarian food that Exeter had to offer. All this expectation came from one simple word- Deli. This conjured memories of 'De Vegetarische Slager' or 'The Vegetarian Butcher' which was set up a few years ago in the Netherlands where I used to live.

I imagined vegan cheeses, 500 different types of dip, and the humble soya-bean manipulated in ways I never thought possible. Maybe I had set the bar a bit high, but I was excited.

The other reason I chose The Plant this weekend was because I have been itching to write a review without cynicism. A review that enthusiastically explains how fantastic a place was and how easy it was to find something meat/dairy-free (without having to ask for the ingredient list or reading the packet). Before I start, please be reassured that the food was lovely and I'll get to that in a bit.

The Plant Cafe has approximately 3 x 4 metres of floor space available for customers, ample for a walk-in deli-takeaway, but an incredibly small space to squeeze in 11 tables of two. Once we had put our bags on the ground, there was only really room for tip-toes! Getting my scarf, gloves and coat off was a bit like traversing a bank vault through a web of lasers; trying not to knock over a drink with the left arm, or slap someone in the face with the right, whilst ensuring my large winter coat didn't take out a waitress. Obviously in winter months, I can't really blame them for wanting to get the maximum volume of customers, but it was quite a squeeze. Not one for a first-date or intimate conversation!

Ordering food proved to be our first task. The cafe doesn't provide menus on each table, but instead has the names of the various dishes scrawled on the walls and chilled display unit. Personally, I found this really confusing and deprived me of the pleasure of quietly considering my options. We sat at our table, glancing around the room at random angles to take in all The Plant had to offer. Unfortunately the wall-text gave very little information about the content of the dishes so it was difficult to know what exactly a 'mixed salad' consisted of, and if for example, the mushroom risotto was vegan. After tripping over my bags to read the chilled unit more closely, I mistakenly and coincidentally found myself at the counter and was asked what I would like to order; of course my answer at that point was still 'I have no idea'. Personally (and particularly when in vegetarian places), I like to have something I can read at leisure from my seat, and which tells me precisely what is in each dish so I can peruse and deliberate. As vegetarians often only have one choice in mainstream eateries, having the ability to choose is a real pleasure on its own. Without the choices being made clear, I was lost and frustrated- how would I know I was ordering the best thing they had, or if I was missing out on something I'd never tried before?!

Eventually, I plumped for the mixed salad, hoping that the nature of it would provide me with a bit of everything. Maybe even some tofu. Both our meals plus two drinks set me back £17, so given the cramped and chaotic location, I was expecting very good things.

Large mixed salad

As I wasn't privy to any of the information about the salad, it was only later that I knew what its components were. Starting from top-right; lemony new potato salad, chickpea and tomato mix, artichoke hearts and cucumber salad, cabbage and peanut stir-fry, green leaf salad, and date/fig couscous in the middle.  

It was indeed a very nice and varied salad- perfect for the winter sniffles as it was colourful and full of vitamins. The Plant use organic, local vegetables, so you know you're paying for quality which is obvious in the taste. The salad was quite filling, but a bit of crusty organic bread alongside would have made it perfect. Seeing as the falafel sandwich meal was the around the same price, a bit of carbohydrate probably wouldn't have pushed the salad into a wildly higher price bracket. An hour after leaving the cafe (and 17 quid lighter), the salad had been digested and I was in the health food shop buying a Clive's flapjack.  

I had hoped that a cafe with a reputation such as The Plant would have experimented a bit more with vegetarian and vegan alternatives like seitan or tempeh, maybe even tried out some home-made sausages. This sadly wasn't the case on this occasion, but the food felt very healthy and was bursting with flavour. For vegetarians, The Plant offers quite a choice, but nothing you haven't seen before.  Expect to find old faithfuls like goat's cheese, risotto, and quiche.  With even high-street greasy spoons offering veggie sausages these days, I found the lack of soya-derived ingredients quite surprising here.  For vegans, the choice is still quite limited; the breakfasts mostly focus on eggs, with beans or mushrooms on toast being the vegan option.  One of the only vegan mains is a falafel pitta with houmous.  Panini sandwiches are still cheese-based, and the frittatas obviously contain yet more egg.

My fizzy nettle cordial was worth every penny of its £1.85, with its label confidently stating that it 'knocks the socks off Elderflower'.  That was indeed true.  The personal, community feeling of the cafe is really its strength, and the home-made local food compliments it perfectly.  

Overall, The Plant left me with the positive reassurance that vegetarian food covers a wide spectrum, and that there is still plenty of space in the market for new veggie cafes and restaurants. More of this, I say!

M&S Revive, High Street

Visited on the 26th January 2013, for afternoon tea.

As usual, the Saturday human traffic not only dominated both the pavement and road (much to the annoyance of buses), but filled most of Exeter's many street cafes.

Sadly for us, this meant that today our rest-stop in Tea on the Green was not meant to be, though the waiter politely informed us that we could wait outside in the cold and watch other people gorge themselves on delicious food and hot drinks until a table became free. Given that there was already a small crowd of hungry customers loitering outside the window, we decided to try our luck elsewhere.

Tired and cold, we somehow found ourselves in the corporate dullness of M&S Revive. The main reason for this choice was a gift card of unknown value that we had in our possession, so we were overjoyed to discover that it was worth the impressive sum of £30. An amount of feast-worthy proportions.

Revive- top floor

Feeling frivolous with our new-found wealth, we escalated excitedly to the third floor. Oh, the luxury we could afford! We were so caught up in the moment we hadn't even considered going to the food hall and spending it all on wine!

We arrived, and I scanned the hot food signs for the vegan option. I had a hankering for a toasted houmous sandwich (like the one I had dreamt of while on the way to Tea on the Green), and after all, we were in Marks and Spencer - suppliers of quality world food - and I was ready to scoff their vegan delights. So I was disappointed to discover that the dairy-free options were all meat-based, and the veggie options consisted of a toasted cheese sandwich, or another type of toasted cheese sandwich.

Resigned to my lacto-fate, I reluctantly plumped for a toasted cheese sandwich. But cows cheese had been flavour of the day, so I had to have the alternative toasted cheese sandwich instead- the mozzarella, tomato and rocket focaccia.

Now, I'm not very familiar with focaccia breads, but I'm pretty sure that traditionally it isn't microwaved. It arrived soft and warm, with the texture of cheap brioche and fused quite convincingly to the napkin. I had expected it to be more like a panini, with a crispy crust and maybe some sesame seeds, but either I have been mis-educated in bread, or they'd served me one of their kitchen sponges by mistake. The tomatoes were strong and chewy, almost like they were sun-dried (but I suspect industrially dried for preservation and semi-rehydrated by the cheese), and the limp looking rocket salad appeared to have been thrown at the plate from across the room.

Taste-wise the quality was just about there, but the cold, hard truth was that we were in a department store, with a waitress expectantly waiting to clear our table for the next customers. No music, no atmosphere, and the rows of men's pants just a couple of metres behind us.

My meal and orange juice deprived us of around £5.70 (with a total spend of £9.85 for both of us). Despite this, we left the shop with a lowly 15p remaining on our £30 card. I think I will get much more enjoyment out of my new knickers.

The Clifton Inn, Clifton Road

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visited on the 11th January 2013, for pre-quiz sustinence.

The Clifton Inn is still my local; despite having recently moved two miles away it's still easily first choice for Friday post-work drinks. It's one of the only drinking establishments with minimal student trade, which renders it cosy and fancy-dress free, with local regulars who are always up for a chat whether you've met them before or not. Even if you have, chances are they won't remember anyway and you can do it all again next time. After a hard day at work, the straightforwardness can be therapeutic.

The Clifton Inn

In the past month or two it's changed hands and is now an even more excellent place to be- cleaner, brighter, and with a barman who has my lager-top poured by the time I've made it from the door to the bar. Even better, they've started serving food (so I don't drink on an empty stomach and spend the next day with my brain trying to escape from my skull).

Two Fridays ago, they introduced their new pub quiz and I was as happy as an elephant in water (they really love swimming). Obvioulsy we needed brain food so we decided to sample the day menu. As you might expect, it pretty much consists of meat in buns, pies, and baked potatoes.

Somewhat surprisingly, there has been effort made to provide veggie versions of everything. It is in the detail that you discover that actually, we were probably an inconvenient afterthought. The vegetarian version of the all-day breakfast replaces sausages with it's plant-based equivalent- fair enough you may say. Look a bit further down and you'll find the Veggie 'Burger', is actually two veggies sausages in a bun. Can you guess what comes with the chips instead of fish? The only thing that doesn't come with veggie sausages is the baked potato with beans.

Uninspired, I chose the 'Veggie Burger' (which I would have called a sausage sandwich), served with chips and salad. At least there was still the quiz to look forward to!

At this point you're probably assuming that I've been referring to traditional-style sausages, made from soya or quorn. But no, for the first time since I first became a vegetarian in 1992, I was faced with those mashed potato sausages that you find in the Sainsbury's 'Basics' range; you know, those ones with a bit of freeze-dried mixed veg thrown in for colour. Perpetrators of the notion that veggies can only eat vegetables, and probably not suitable for vegans.

So I'll rename the dish again; mashed potato sandwich, chips, and an uncomfortable-looking salad. Undressed, pale, and flaccid. It looked embarasssed to be on the plate with the accompanying monster-stodge; like a geek forced to play in a school rugby team. I picked up a sachet of ketchup to add some colour to the beige, but decided against it upon reading that it 'may contain' any or all of the following: milk, celery, soya, gluten, nuts, fish, eggs. Where the hell are they making this stuff? In the middle of a farmer's market? The proximity of the words 'fish' and 'eggs' did something to my brain that I can't explain. And don't start me on kitchens that serve condiments in eensy-weensy sachets instead of nice clumpy bottles...

All of that said, the food did the job and given the price of £3.95, I probably got my money's worth. Also, they're not the kind of pub that'll spit in your food if you ask for something vegan.  I'm not sure if I'll make a habit of eating in the Clifton regularly, but I'll certainly continue to drink there. On occasion, the food's fine for lining the stomach- it's a pub, not fine dining. But if you're veggie then you might as well just get a bowl of chips.

We didn't win the quiz. But they did forget to put bacon and cheese in the other half's American Burger so that was nice.

The Royal Oak, Okehampton Street (Exe Bridges)

Visited 25th November 2012, for a late lunch.

We stumbled into the Royal Oak late one Sunday afternoon after strolling along the swollen river and curiously photographing rising water levels. With our first stop, The Mill on the Exe, being four feet under water and therefore closed, we began looking for an alternative carvery. Obviously wanting to shun the Wetherspoons around the corner and being in unknown territory, we were enticed by the Royal Oak sign promising 'Good, home-cooked food'.

The Mill on the Exe beer garden (AKA The Mill Under the Exe)

After enquiring at the bar, we were informed that they only had two pork roasts left. Of course, we had no need for one of those servings, so declared that we would like one animal-free meal, and only one of their two servings of murdered swine. “Fine, no problem at all” they said, so we thankfully ordered our drinks and sat down in the warm.

The Royal Oak

At this point, I started to learn my lesson about being forthright and strict about my nutritional choices. I already felt well out of my comfort zone due to my kerr-azy request for a carvery with no carve, when the barman sheepishly (or should that be piggily?) approached to update us on our meal. Apparently the last two dishes had already been plated up, with slices of tortured porcine allocated to both. Now, bear in mind we had just walked a marathon in the pissing rain, and it was edging towards 3.30 in the afternoon. He posed the inevitable question “Is it OK if we just put the pork on your partner's plate?” and my heart sank. But at least he asked, which I suppose is more than most places would do.

My brain had a panic attack so my stomach took over responsibility for the decision-making. I have no knowledge of pork so considered it to be dry, just like chicken and turkey; the only meats I remember eating as a child. I conceded and agreed that would be OK to simply remove the pork. I could eat around the contaminated section and enjoy my much anticipated potatoes. After all, if I had said no then what sort of food snob would I look like?

Our food arrived, delivered by a nervous and very young lady who apologetically laid it on the table and scarpered. Two pork roasts, on two separate plates, drenched in gravy.

I took a large mouthful of cider as the other half tried to remove my pork. But as I saw the meat juices running down and mingling with gravy and roasties, the prospect of another hungry walk home and potato waffles for dinner started to dawn on me. On the bright side, my broccoli survived the apocalypse and I took an eager bite. It took a millisecond to realise the gravy that engulfed every component of my meal was also meat-based. In the excitement of finding food I had forgotten to ask. The cider was quickly downed to anaesthetise my tear ducts.

So let's break this down, and forget the pig-induced nightmare. Aside from that, the vegetables were so overcooked they dissolved upon impact with a fork, the potatoes were cold, and the meal was inexplicably conjoined with a serving of lumpy mash. My 'meatless' version was charged at the same price as a full carvery, and despite neither of us making a dent in this monstrosity we were charged £18 including drinks for the experience, made worthwhile only by a conversation overheard at the bar. Brace yourselves.

“Course you know why we've 'ad all this trouble with flooding down 'ere don't ya? It's all those flood defences they been building up north, pushing all the water down 'ere. It's gotta go somewhere ain't it?”

Well if that's the case then France is fucked and the droughts in Africa should soon be a thing of the past.

Dinner at home was indeed a whole box of potato waffles smothered in veggie gravy and mint sauce. And very lovely it was too.  

Let's Do Cafe, Fore Street

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Visited 12th December 2012, at lunchtime.

Let's Do is what you'd expect from a cafe. A greasy spoon if you will, but a five star one at that. Reasonably priced, simple and quick food on a plate, smothered in your choice of sauce, with a cup of tea to wash it all down. Cakes if you please, and free wifi if you want to take your mind off them.

As usual, we order the breakfast. Death on a plate for him, and the large veggie to satisfy my eyes (which are, as usual, bigger than my stomach).  There's lots of choice, but limited for vegans.  In summary the menu consists of fried stuff, jacket potatoes (beans are the only vegan choice), or baguettes (probably not worth considering if you don't want some form of cheese).

After a couple of visits, you notice that the place does get very busy over lunch-time, and the musical ambience leaves a little to be desired. Luckily, the free wifi will keep you distracted from your gurgling stomach. Though there is the usual faint scent of cooking flesh which we are all probably used to by now, it's not an unpleasant location to sit and watch the world pass by.

The vegetarian breakfast consists of beans, mushrooms, toast, hash browns, fried tomatoes and veggie sausages. (Default option is with fried eggs but these can easily be exchanged for an extra sausage or scoop of beans).  As any seasoned vegan should know, Linda McCartney are the best dairy-free sausages you can get without making your own, and that's the level of quality you get here.  Despite the obvious demand for food at 1pm on a Wednesday afternoon, it's served hot, greasy-but-not-cardiac, and fulfilling. Almost the perfect hangover or missed-meal antidote. The only gripe would be that I didn't check whether my veggie special was cooked on the same hot plate as the black pudding- I'd like to say it's a rookie mistake, but admittedly it's something I've chosen to avoid asking in fear of leaving with an empty belly.

I'll continue to visit Let's Do for all my hangover needs and for a nice chat with the friendly cook. They also have a selection of homemade cakes which are great for an afternoon sugar rush, but it's probably safe to say that all contain milk, eggs or butter.

I won't be scoring any of the places I visit as an experience is individual to everyone. Rather, I'd like to hear your opinion of the places I talk about, and those I'm yet to enjoy.

Here's to the next meal!